This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
