Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
