i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
