Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize