I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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