a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
