New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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