4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
