she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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