Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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