Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
