you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
