Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
