Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
