I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
