I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
