Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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