it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
