Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
