She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
