he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
