Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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