Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I am puke
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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