Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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