so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
