drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
