then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
