oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
