Kiss
Puke
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Lo siento on account of my penis...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize