I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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