I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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