Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I currently don't understand fingers.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
