Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
