First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she looked like the before picture.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
