you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
