This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
