is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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