I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
