I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
