I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
