rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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