Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

(330): View more from Ohio

well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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(440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth (330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ms7e

Replies (25) Good night (4985) Bad night (547)
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(775): View more from Nevada

If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.

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(775): If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band. http://tfl.nu/wzbw

Replies (32) Good night (6024) Bad night (537)
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(561): View more from Florida

i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed

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(561): i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/x39u

Replies (63) Good night (940) Bad night (11016)
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(312): View more from Illinois

i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it

(917): View more from New York City

the suitcase or the dildo?

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(312): i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it (917): the suitcase or the dildo? http://tfl.nu/j1en

Replies (39) Good night (10175) Bad night (1548)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.

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(608): Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard. http://tfl.nu/diwn

Replies (15) Good night (4544) Bad night (1022)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this

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(404): I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this http://tfl.nu/fjnr

Replies (6) Good night (1535) Bad night (514)
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(678): View more from Georgia

there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..

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(678): there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub.. http://tfl.nu/f53v

Replies (4) Good night (1197) Bad night (528)
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(410): View more from Maryland

My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?

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(410): My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night? http://tfl.nu/txqd

Replies (1) Good night (889) Bad night (788)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.

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(412): I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again. http://tfl.nu/ottt

Replies (5) Good night (367) Bad night (1002)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever

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(651): Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever http://tfl.nu/sex2

Replies (6) Good night (894) Bad night (537)
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(818): View more from California

Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it

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(818): Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it http://tfl.nu/vzjc

Replies (10) Good night (1398) Bad night (317)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.

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(724): I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser. http://tfl.nu/pdzm

Replies (6) Good night (421) Bad night (1811)
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(909): View more from California

While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."

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(909): While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run." http://tfl.nu/99ml

Replies (1) Good night (785) Bad night (266)
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(231): View more from Michigan

I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.

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(231): I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/j7wr

Replies (4) Good night (487) Bad night (272)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.

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(405): I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome. http://tfl.nu/n5tl

Replies (0) Good night (566) Bad night (233)

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