just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
