Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
