you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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