Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
did you just send me my own nude
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
