***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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