fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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