I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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