i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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