Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
