Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
