You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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