There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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