i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize