Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
