I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
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does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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