so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I need a burrito and a hug.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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