Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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