respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
