We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
