did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
