Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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