I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
